Gary Gray, Therapy and Therapeutic Coaching

Who am I ?
I began my therapy practice eight years ago after a many faceted career in education.  I trained in the post graduate program at the Gestalt Therapy Institute of Philadelphia.  I am also certified as a Gestalt Coach by the Gestalt International Study Center, a program accredited by the International Coach Federation.  I work with adults individuals and couples.  I also offer group sessions focusing on couple relationships, career development, work-life development and personal growth.

What about you?
 You might want to call me if:

•  You are frustrated and unsatisfied in your personal or professional relationships
•  You want to make changes in your personal life but you keep getting stuck
•  You want to make changes in your work life but you keep getting stuck
  
•  You are frustrated and unsatisfied too much of the time
•  You feel anxious or depressed too often
•  You feel scared or angry too much of the time
•  You  often feel guilt or shame or you are angry at yourself
•  You feel resentful much of the time
•  You long for something that is not clear to you or eludes you
•  You would like to know about group opportunities that might interest you

What is Gestalt therapy ?
Gestalt is an exciting, evolving movement based upon our longing for authentic connection within ourselves and with the people, places and things in our world.  Gestalt begins with the assumption that we are by nature motivated to grow in the direction of well being and wholeness.  This can be challenging  because life has separated us from many injured, lost or abandoned parts of ourselves and because we tend to keep trying things that once worked for us but are no longer effective.

My Gestalt therapy practice is based on three fundamental ideas:

• You are the authority on your own life.  I am not.  It is not my job to diagnose you as if there is something wrong with you .  My job is to listen to you, and learn what is remarkable and wonderful about you in the world, to urge you to see yourself as remarkable and wonderful, and to help you discover what is preventing you from being fully engaged in your life.
• Well being is enhanced by our ability to be more fully in the here and now. This means that therapeutic healing happens when we become aware of how our stories are affecting us right now.  We do have to delve into our painful stories but the stories were then and the guilt, anger, sadness and resentment are here and now.
• I pay attention to what you say and how you say it.  It is not my job to search for hidden, unconscious implications of what you say.  I cannot know you by studying the various isolated parts of your life but by getting to know you as a complicated whole person and attending to the relationship of the parts to the whole. This process of discovering, owning and embracing self is the path to healing and growth.

Therapy, Coaching and Therapeutic Coaching

Much of the work we  do in therapy involves identifying obstacles which are in the way of being fully alive and engaged, obstacles like shaky self-confidence, outdated assumptions, traumas, resentments, shame, guilt and unsatisfying relationships.

Conventional coaching is primarily goal oriented. The focus is on identifying clear, realistic, timely goals and working to support their achievement.  But often we don’t achieve our goals because we are up against obstacles like shaky self-confidence, outdated assumptions, traumas, resentments shame, guilt and unsatisfying relationships. So we proceed toward our goal with one foot on the gas and the other on the brake.*  My approach to coaching, both individuals and couples, is to offer as much therapy in the coaching process as is acceptable to you.  As you learn to identify, appreciate and work with your obstacles, change comes more naturally. This is therapeutic coaching.
 * Robert Kegan, Immunity to Change